Learning to trust God's Sovereignty

It kind of snuck up on me.  We have fallen headfirst into a new year.  New decade.  I hadn’t really given a thought to that. In the grand scheme of things and the way this last one has gone, thinking about it wasn’t on my radar. 

We are still grieving the loss of our precious granddaughter, so I hadn't been thinking about closing out a decade. 

 But then I read an Instagram post by someone who spoke about the things that have happened this past decade.  So.  I thought I’d think about mine.  Hmmm.  It’s been a bit full. 

 The Lord has been disciplining me.  Teaching me.  Breaking my leg and carrying me. 

 In the years 2010-19:

He revived my faith.  He revived my marriage.   He restored my health through a miraculous healing.    

He moved us back home to Philadelphia.

I revived my love for knitting and crocheting.

I was my mom’s aide.  I became an orphan.

I became a grandmother.  

I became a bereaved parent, daughter, daughter-in-law, and grandmother.  

I penned a memoir. 

I’ve had cancer.  Twice.  

My husband lost his job.  He had a frozen shoulder and was diagnosed a diabetic.

I’ve dislocated a finger and had whiplash.  Two separate incidents.

We had Fleas. Ants. Mice (These may have been when I most freaked out!)
Our immediate family collectively made 8 moves and lost 5 pets.

We've had 1 divorce, 2 marriages, 2 births, 4 deaths. 

I have learned to fully embrace the Sovereignty of God (which I will revisit again as it's one of the biggest lessons I learned. And His comfort. His good gifts and the hard times he allows.

I found this post that I wrote at the beginning of the year and didn't post!  Wow.  2010-2019 were incredibly full years.  And little did I know what just the beginning of this decade was going to bring into our life.

I have had 5 ER visits this year. Gall Bladder. Then a surgical complication. Sting Ray bite. Low Potassium. Shingles.

 I've spent most of this Covid19 pandemic suffering from other problems and pain. And have been one of the few not minding the quarantine aspect. 

 I started editing my book and will publish it soon

 During the editing/publishing of my book I’ve had so many instances of intense pain that have reminded me that it really was bad to be in pain for so long.  Because each of these times this year, I could barely breath through that time of intense pain.  Some have been short lived, durations of about an hour.  One has been over two months. I'm tired.  I'm tired of being in pain.  

I am reminded, I was in pain for 18 years.  No wonder it was so glorious to be released from the RSD pain in 2012!  God has sustained me through it all.

He has also brought great joy this year.  Traveling with friends. (pre-pandemic) Thanks Gabi and Mike! The news of another grandchild on the way.  

And the publishing of my book...His story of his work in my life! To Him be all praise and glory for helping me, guiding me, pushing me to get it published.  I pray that this book will find it's way into the hands of those who he wants to read the truth sprinkled throughout. 

Maybe my prayers for this next decade should be that maybe he'd let me ride free for a while? But that's not what life is about, is it?  It's about God perfecting us and making us more like Jesus and He does this through joy, trials, and pain.

In my humanness, I think, Oh Lord, could I have a break for a while?  

 And again, I didn't publish this post. It's been 2 months since I added to it.  And yes, God has given me a bit of a break from the pain.  I have enough there that I'm still doctoring. but for the most part I'm doing good.  Thank you, Jesus, for your respite care!  And for the grace and mercy you so freely give me.  May I turn and give it to others.