Stalked

1 Peter 5:8  (NIV)

⁸ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

It seems to me that I (we) are getting more than my fair share of problems.  This morning in church, when I was talking to someone about my latest escapade that included beautiful turquoise Caribbean water, snorkeling gear, my best friend/husband, a stingray and pain.  Lots and lots of pain.  Then many hours spent at the mercy of a Mexican privately owned mini-hospital. 

Why Karen?  Out of all the people who had been in and out of that very stretch of sand (not a ton of people but everyone in our private little bit of heaven), and I was the one to get bit.  To me, it didn’t seem that unusual cause I’m always having something happen! 

Since 2012, when God healed me,  I have had a string of what some would call “bad luck.” 

Two cases of cancer, skin, and uterus.  Husband diagnosed with Diabetes.  Husband losing his job. Dislocated finger. Whiplash. Flea infestation. Ant infestation.  Mice infestation. Caregiving for mom with many trips to the hospital. Father in law died.  Major problems with a son who then also died. Mother died. Granddaughter was incompatible with life and also died.

And through it all, I held tight to my faith.  And strive to remember what God had done in my life back in 2012.  All the while, I was writing a book and desiring to tell my story to any group who would listen. 

As we were preparing for a memorial service for our granddaughter, God impressed upon me the need to get my book done.  That .with all these things I had happening, I still need to steward “my story” well.   It seems that there have been many things in the past eight years trying to keep me from getting this book published and getting out there to tell my story.

I started this year, ready and raring to make progress on book and speaking engagements. 

I quickly signed up for three speaking engagements to share my story.  And it wasn’t until this morning when I was talking about the latest ‘suffering’ in my life that someone reminded me that Satan is on the attack. 

When God is at work, Satan attacks. 

Ah, yes.  I knew when it happened that God had allowed me to step on and get stung by a Stingray.  He allowed me to be in such pain for a reason.  Is He is still disciplining me? Growing me? Or allowing Satan to attack me to help me stand in my weakness/God’s strength and tell my story.

I was reminded that when I am about to tell my story discouraging things happen.  All these things that have happened since my healing seem to make sense.  Satan tries to use them for evil. But God!  He uses them to strengthen me and continue to grow me in the ability to lean on His strength. 

Take last month, for instance.  I had a gall bladder attack/surgery the week before I was to travel to tell my story to two groups of women.  And yes, I had to reschedule.

Now, the week before I’m to speak again, I got stung by a stingray.  Sheesh! 

Maybe I should just give up and throw in the towel and say. I can’t do this.  It’s too hard!  Why me?  God, I’m tired of the attacks!  I’m not going to obey anymore and do your will.  If I’m not telling my story, maybe Satan will leave me alone!  Cause, what is going to be next?

But God.  You see, any time Satan tries to attack me, I dig in my heels and say, oh no, you don’t!  I’m not going to let you win! 

Giving in to despair, questioning God, anger at God, doubting God all do just what Satan wants.  He wants me to do get mired down in the woe is me attitude, keeping me from being able to do the most important thing I can be doing.

I need to Glorify God with my life.   And I have learned to love to glorify God!  In all things. 

Sometimes it’s with great joy as in my healing.

Sometimes it's with tears running down my face while lifted in worship as in the days, months after our losses.

Sometimes it's with the determination not to let Satan win the battle.  As in right now as I prepare to share my story, which is God’s Story of working in my life. 

I will not give in to my adversary who is stalking me like a lion.

God did a great thing in my life, not for my sake but for His Glory! And I can not let these other events sidetrack my ‘job’ as His ambassador.

I’m still human, and honestly, the things that most send me into a tizzy?  The infestations!  Oh, man, I didn’t handle them well.  Oh, the anxiety and frustration!

And my sulking on the plane home yesterday when our seating didn’t work out the way I had hoped.  Lord, help me not give Satan the pleasure of setting me off balance in these little things.  Help me praise you even in those times. 

I ask you; please pray for me this week.  Ask for God’s hedge of protection around me as I prepare to share my story with a wonderful group of women.  Ask for me to stand in His strength, not mine this week.  I need to call in my Christ-confidence this week, not my self-confidence.  Cause to tell the truth, I have little to no self-confidence.

But God.  I am a beloved, beautiful creation of His, and He will give me strength.