Tsunami

Have you ever felt like you were in a Tsunami of overwhelming trials?  When it seems like your emotions are being hit from so many different angles at one time?  And not just for yourself?

So far this year has been one of constantly being hit from many different directions.  And it isn't just our own family's struggles with the distant move of a child, death of a loved one, flu, possible pneumonia, another family member with struggles, caring for our mothers.  We have friends who are in great pain, having surgery, job struggles, marital issues, divorces, cancer (multiple people we know and love).   Then, there's hearing that others have had to replace a roof, a few with needing new heaters.  There's the mom we are praying for who lost her baby and almost her life due to the flu and was possibly going to lose her legs also!  With all these storms going on for people we know,  I just can't even look at all the trials that come across my facebook feed!

I had prayed last year, "Lord, break my heart with what breaks yours".  Not a prayer I would highly recommend.  (tongue in cheek because we do need to care and I just had felt like I wasn't really feeling other's pain enough).   Now I do find myself hurting for others and feel overwhelmed at times. And I don't always like it!

In his ultimate wisdom, God directs our paths and I believe, once again He has even used my faithlessness in having devotions every single day to his use.  And my good.   I am studying a book that the women of our church studied last fall.  It is meant to be done a lesson a day.  I, however, have split it into multiple days per lesson.  Meaning I study a  single Psalm for about a week.  But, sometimes it takes longer than that even with my missed days.   This study has truly blessed me this year as I have walked this hard road I seem to be traveling.  I know that my life circumstances in and of themselves were not horrific,  not as devastating as some people were/are facing.  But, they were mine and I felt as if my emotions were being hit from all sides.  I felt such ups and downs, great joy, great sadness, great fear, great worry and at times, feeling awful physically.  Although, the time of physical trouble was a bit of a blessing in that I had a good excuse to withdraw into my covers and watch podcasts to take my mind off my troubles and my discomfort.   I know my path is not as hard as some people's.  It's just that it has been mine and with so many things coming at me from what seems like all sides, I have felt at times as if I'm in a Tsunami of a storm.
   During my study of some of the Psalms, I studied Psalm 57.  Verse 1, in particular, stayed with me.
 Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.

I was reminded of the refuge that is in God.  How he covers us with his wings like a mama bird and her babies.  I remembered a picture I've seen floating around the internet and 

 

I've looked and found other ones equally as sweet.   

    

These are wonderful pictures of the love of a mother for her baby chicks!  And, I know that for most of us mamas, and even dads, we love our children and would love to keep them snuggled under our wings.  However,  we must let them go.  And trust that they are snuggled safely under our Father's wings along with us!  I can't tell you how often I've had to remind myself over the years that Abba, loves my children even more than I do.  And that he has their best interest in as he has mine.

My studies also took me into Psalm 91 and there we have those special words once again.  

v4 He will cover you with his feathers,

    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

At that time, my Tsunami seemed to be cresting over my head.  And I felt like I couldn't handle it some days.  Some days, I struggled with such overwhelming sadness, fear, and worry.  Then, I also struggled with the concern that since I was still worried and feeling sad that I wasn't trusting Abba like I should be.  Why was I sad, worried, fearful if I were supposedly trusting in him. 

But something in the words of these Psalms struck a chord within my soul.  Just as young chicks are safely ensconced under their mama's wings during storms, I am safely ensconced under the wings of my heavenly Father.  And then, it hit me.  That doesn't mean that the storm is not there any longer.  It is there.  And sometimes scary, fearful.   It's just that I'm safe.  Yes, I may still be scared and worried. There are times when I feel the tension building.   And then, I think of these words from the Psalms.  I picture this mama bird and her chicks. And I picture a raging storm around them.   And I breathe, just breathe.   The only lyrics I remember from the song by Jonny Diaz, Breathe although I do like to listen to it.  Using those words to help calm my inward self.  

And... I'm safe.  

And now, I can say with the Psalmist in Psalm 57

7 My heart, O God, is steadfast,
    my heart is steadfast;
    I will sing and make music.
8 Awake, my soul!
    Awake, harp and lyre!
    I will awaken the dawn.

9 I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;
    I will sing of you among the peoples.
10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
    your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
    let your glory be over all the earth.