My week at Maranatha for the Family Retreat was such an encouragement to me in so many ways. I had been struggling for a while that I was not capable of getting through this week. I worried that my stamina wouldn't last. That I wouldn't be able to know how to get along with my camper. That I wasn't spiritual enough. That I wouldn't have the answers I needed for any questions, etc.
The other night, I read the prayer journal I kept while at Joni and friends Family Retreat, Maranatha.
God is so good! He answers prayers even when we forget we've prayed them and even when we forget to go back and thank him for those answered prayers. Sometimes we pray and put things in God's hands, as we should. Sometimes we pray and keep on fussing, which we shouldn't. Sometimes we pray out of a rote sense of this is what I should do, not expecting an answer. But too often, when the answer comes, we don't even think about the fact that it was an answer to prayer.
I'd like to share a bit of my prayer journal with you to encourage you too, to remember what you've prayed for and when God has answered those prayers, to thank him. Some of these, I saw the answer right away, some I realized when I reread my journal the other day that oh, that was an answer to prayer! Here's a few prayers and the answers:
Night 1:
Lord, I pray that my pain/stiffness would not interfere with my duties.
I have some back pain that is sometimes intense after I've sat a lot and I sat A LOT on the way out to camp, having driven in from PA to be there in MI. We then did a lot of sitting for our orientation meetings and at one point, I figured it would be helpful to my back to lay down during the next meeting. One of my fellow STMs put her hand on me and prayed for me. I am thrilled to say that my pain was NOT a hinderence at ALL that week! God is so good! He knew I didn't need to be distracted by pain and since I had already learned that GOD was the one using my body that week to minister, I knew I could handle it.
and then, Night 2 I prayed:
Ah Lord,
You never cease to amaze me with your greatness- your timing- your grace. I hadn't been sure that I was spiritually ready or good enough for this week. It's not about me, is it? It's not about what I can do, but what YOU want to do through me! Use me Lord, help me be the vessel you want me to be.
God, through his mighty ways, and through the teaching, prayers and words of others when we arrived at the camp, let me know that HE HAD THIS! It wasn't ME who would be ministering to others at the camp, but HIM. He had just asked to use my heart, hands and feet to let HIM love on his special ones.
Help me love Sheri (my assigned camper) and her mom while you love them through me. I pray that I may help Sheri to keep it cool and that she has no or few melt downs.
I did love Sheri and her mom! The love I feel for them was beyond what I have ever felt before and felt like it was beyond my capabilities, once again showing me, God was using this dirty, broken, eartly vessel.
One of the other STMs at our dinner table one night asked me how long we'd known each other (me, Sheri and her mom) and we answered that we had just met. They were surprised because they thought that we'd known each other a long time. Oh that I lived this way all the time! Loving others with God's love.
Night 3: at this point, it seems as if I only had thoughts of thankfulness. One was,
Thank you for the blessing of Sheri.
Sheri was truly a blessing to me!
Night 4:
What a fabulous day! Thank you! ....Lord, Sheri is a doll. She has such a sweet way about her. Loving people, caring about them, comforting them. The smiles she brings to everyone's faces are precious- Her mom is great too!
Lord, as easy as my week has been, its been that hard for other STMs. I pray for your strength + comfort upon them. I pray for the leadership.
I believe that there was such an air of God working through all the STMS that week! It was an incredible experience to see so many believers set themselves aside and allow God to use them as his vessels. We saw a lot of God that week! I am reminded of two young men who loved on two brothers with God's love to the delight of everyone watching them.
and more thankfulness...the day is ending, and I am overflowing with blessing. What a great day you gave us! Thank you that Sheri has not had any melt downs and that her mom is able to relax. I can't believe how this kind of week is a blessing to ALL who participate.
Seeing the parents relax, enjoy themselves and be fed spiritualy and physically was not something I had anticipated at all! I had come thinking that this was a week for the campers. I left realizing that every member of every family is loved by the Father during family retreat! I also saw STMs, leadership team, and even the kitchen staff be used by the Father, blessed by the Father, and loved on too!
I must've fallen into bed on Wed night and Thurs nights since I did not write in my journal those days. I know God was working through those days with more of the above going on!
I kept feeling like I had God appointments that week. Times when God stepped in and sent me on a special encounter. One such one was friday AM. I got up early, not having taken note that we didn't have our 745 AM meeting. I decided that I would go visit the boat landing which I had not seen yet and have devotions there before breakfast. I found a nice park bench on which to sit. I hadn't sat for long when I heard a funny noise and realized that it was the automatic sprinkler system for the house behind where I sat! I must have looked quite funny trying to get out of the way of the coming water! I managed to get myself out of that area and decided to go get a cup of coffee in the main building. Who did I see? Sheri's mom. She had a question for me and we found a corner to sit and have our coffee. It was a great time of one on one with her. And then, I so proudly (I'm so good at illustrating, "pride goeth before a fall") say, we haven't had a melt down this week! And mom says, "the day is not over yet." She knew how very taxing a week at camp is for Sheri and knew that it was quite possible that I'd still experience a meltdown.
And I did. The thing is that Sheri realizes when she's melting and will go off and find a place to withdraw and get her composure again. I sure could learn that trick! She took a nap and when she woke up, asked what was wrong with what she'd been doing that I had tried to get her to stop. We apologized to each other, me for having made frustrated her and her for having gotten upset with me. And then, we moved on and had a great time at the closing program. Sheri exhibited a tremendous ability of teachableness & forgiveness. And I, I was humbled once again and taught the lesson that I learned the first day. GOD HAD THIS! And God, not Karen, kept Sheri on an even keel.
Oh God, thank you for lessons learned. I felt as if I was watching Someone else living through my body that week. (at least until I took over on friday) Oh to live this way always! Thank you Lord, for reminding me of how it looks to allow You to work through me! And, my stamina held. My pain was not an issue. I learned to love others with special needs in a way I had never before done. I learned that it wasn't a matter of my spirituality, just willingness.
Thank you Sheri and mom for a great week! Thank you Lord for this most special of retreats! And Lord, show me how you expect me to use this experience in the future. Help me know your will on whether I do this again or not. (I think I've already been given that answer as I type)
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